Taming a Munchkin

“…I have none.”

If they kept ordering him to produce something he didn’t have, Xuan Tian would be in a pretty pickle.

“Then come with us quietly.”

The knights’ hands hovered meaningfully over the hilts of their swords.

“…!”

His eyebrows arched at their actions. ‘Impertinent bastards! Do you know who I am?! If you bastards dare lay a finger on me, I won’t stand for it!’

Determined, he was about to pull out a long needle from his chest, but someone grabbed his elbow. It was Law.

“Do you really want to blow things out of proportion?”

“Do you imagine I should simply let them lay a finger on me?!”

“Just give yourself up. It makes no difference whether you enter with your own two feet or get hauled inside.”

“What?!”

‘The cheek of this absurd rascal!’

“You think they’ll guide us to heaven if we capitulate? It’s as plain as the nose on your face they’re taking us to prison! I’m fed up with prison now!”

Back in Yu Ga, in the Eastern Continent, he had undergone a period of confinement for rising in revolt against the Emperor’s brutal practices. While he had never endured wretched torture or insults as he was a renowned noble—

‘I can’t drink alcohol in jail!’ Offering alcohol in prison was unheard of!

Law shook his head wordlessly. ‘Could this rascal be angling for that?’

The knights were now glaring daggers at the pair. Xuan Tian, who had his hand in the pocket of his chest, hastily drew out his hands.

“Hold! This personage truly received an inv—!”

But the objections of an illegal immigrant who bore no proof of identification fell on deaf ears.

“Meow—”

The two of them headed down to the underground prison all the while suffering pokes dealt by the sharp tips of the knights’ swords.

CLANK—

A desperate Xuan Tian stuck his head between the iron bars.

“W-Wait!”

“Behave.”

Arms crossed, the warden peered down at him.

“L-Look here! This personage shall conduct himself properly in this jail.”

“Right. Stay well-behaved just like that.”

“Very well. Provide me liquor at least.”

“…Liquor?”

“Liquor.”

“That liquor people indulge in?”

“The very same.”

“…”

“…”

The youth’s gaze met the warden’s disdainful one. While the latter hadn’t a clue how Xuan Tian became an alcoholic at his tender age, he was staring at him as if he was pathetic. Law silently agreed with the warden’s unspoken sentiments.

Dang it! Xuan Tian took a gamble and started coughing.

“Ugh, if I don’t wet my whistle… This personage will perish… The Lord’s guest… You’ll get reprimanded big time…”

“…”

“…Cough.”

The warden pivoted on his heel.

“Look here! Did you not hear me? I’m not kidding! It’s true!”

He shook the iron bars frantically.

“I did get an invitation from the castle’s Lord! Liquor! Give me liquor!”

* * *

Two days passed before Kynemeia went down to the underground prison to meet the alcoholic with tremulous hands and his burly cat-toting companion.

“Here, Young Lady.”

“Liquor… Give me liquoooor… Liquoooor…”

The burly man seemed perfectly indifferent to the alcoholic when he said to the warden,

“Please give us some food that’s suitable for Meow. It’s not good to keep feeding it human food.”

“Liquor… Liquooor…”

Unlike the healthy Law, tremors wracked Xuan Tian Xinghai’s frame, and his face was so sunken he appeared to be on the brink of death.

“Liquoor…”

‘My goodness,’ seeing his horrible state, Kynemeia covered her mouth with her hands. ‘Those are the symptoms of alcohol addiction!’

Xuan Tian Xinghai was in perfect physical health; his alcohol addiction stemmed from mental weakness. Such a healthy body was also not free of psychological problems.

“We gave him food and water regularly, but he took a turn for the worse just within a day.”

Kynemeia motioned to the warden with a wave of her hand, indicating it was fine. The fault didn’t lie with him. That particular creature couldn’t live off of food and water.

“He might look like this, but please don’t worry as he’s not suffering from a fatal ailment of some sort.”

Law remarked while caressing the cat. Xuan Tian wasn’t suffering from an affliction. No, quite the opposite—he was in the middle of recuperating. Law was musing to himself that it would be alright for them to remain in prison for several more days when a clear voice cut through his thoughts.

“For now, we need to relocate them to a room.”

Law raised his head and clapped eyes on a young girl partially hidden behind the warden.

‘…!’

His grey eyes quivered when he caught sight of her cuteness. Kynemeia then stepped inside the cell and proceeded to slap Xuan Tian’s face, saying in an undertone,

“He’s not returning to his senses…”

‘Is this the person termed as the Young Lady?’

Even the sight of her small, maple leaf-like hand mercilessly slapping his master’s face looked adorable.

‘…Cute!’

“Nanny, call for a stretcher and some people. I think we’ll need to carry him up.”

The words fell from small pretty lips resembling that of a precocious cat.

‘…Fairy!’

Law clutched at his heart as if suffering an attack.

* * *

As soon as the alcoholic who was fast wasting away tasted some liquor, he suddenly returned to the land of the living. Xuan Tian took a swig of the Liquor of God, moistening his mouth, and opened his eyes.

It was the taste he’d been searching for all his life.

He couldn’t stay lying down when that flavour was swirling inside his mouth once again. But when he sat up, he found himself on a bed in a luxuriously done up room with Law and a blonde girl at his bedside watching his antics.

“Have you come to?”

Kynemeia asked Xuan Tian, who kept on licking his lips. He was wide awake, but he thought he could still feel something on his tongue.

“Excuse me, little doll.”

Little doll?!

“Judging by your unusual appearance, you seem to be one of the Castle Lord’s family. Where is the lord currently? I have a most urgent question.”

Her expression overcast, she eyed him as his tongue licked his lip over and over again.

“Is it about the secret of the liquor I sent you?”

“Right. That Liquor of God…!”

His eyes twinkled. He only savoured a trickle earlier, but it wasn’t an exaggeration to describe that taste as the Liquor of God. The initial taste that gently warmed the cavern of his mouth, the smooth feel, and the aroma… so lush as if a forest was flourishing within his mouth. When the liquor slid down his throat, it left a sweet aftertaste with a long finish. Even the God of Liquor, Geva, would approve of this. No, this might just be the Liquor of Geva. royals: when neither of us is a sommelier but gotta make it sound like we know what we’re talking about/key: oh yes we totally know what we’re talking about

Xuan Tian began drooling again but realized something didn’t sound right.

“‘I sent’?”

Kynemeia lifted her skirt out from her body and bent at her knees with her left foot gliding behind. Even though he was currently an illegal immigrant, Xuan Tian Xinghai originally hailed from the great nobility in Yu Ga, and here she was greeting him with a curtsy.

“Hmm…”

Xuan Tian studied the girl, his gaze growing slightly calm.

“Unlike some rascals, it seems like you’re very much aware of proper protocol.”

Moreover, the Lady also knew how to pronounce his name clearly as ‘Xuan Tian Xinghai’. Even Law, his faithful shadow, pronounced Xuan as sweng. She bashfully smiled at his small compliment.

‘I know she’s cute, but she’s outrageously so.’

Though he came from a different continent and was unfamiliar with the foreign features of the people here, the Lady’s small and high-bridged nose, beautifully painted lips, and round, kitty-like ocean blue eyes were the image of a typical peerless beauty that kept one riveted.

“So, does the Little Lady want something from me?”

Kynemeia gave a small nod.

“Sir Xuan Tian is the best alchemist in the Eastern Continent, yes?”

“W-Well, that’s right.”

Xuan Tian held back his shoulders from inching upwards automatically.

T/N: shoulders rising indicate feeling proud/haughty, so here xuan tian is trying to look humble

Only

“Has my reputation spread far and wide even to the Western Continent?”

“Of course.”

“Ha, as expected, talent can’t be hidden.”

Kynemeia grinned at his failure to hide his elation.

“That means the Little Lady requires my alchemy.”

“Yes. I’d like to borrow Sir Xuan Tian’s alchemy, which is head and shoulders above anyone in both the Eastern and Western continents, to heal my people.”

‘Hoo, head and shoulders above, she says.’

Having discovered Kynemeia had considerable knowledge of the Eastern Continent’s sayings, his eyes widened in surprise. His small irises were soon blazing in his slender foxy eyes.