I Have Become The Heroes’ Rival

‘Seriously, don’t say that.’

‘If you say that, I think I’ll start to understand the feelings of those three people who are equivalent to trash.’

If Felix didn’t like me, even if it were just his body, I would want to forcefully keep him by my side. It was really terrible of him for making me have such a horrible thought.

‘If it’s already too late and you’re fed up with it, why did you show up here? Even if I’m in danger, just leave me alone.’

You’re the one who came here even though you knew your identity would be revealed.

“Even if you’re lying, don’t say such things. Are you going to keep hurting me like this? How is this any different from killing someone?”

I asked as I stood on the terrace railing. I thought that if I displayed such extreme behavior, he wouldn’t be able to turn his back and would be a little honest with me.

One of my predictions was right, and the other was wrong.

It was true that he couldn’t leave me. He was stuck in place and didn’t move. It proved that he at least didn’t want me to get hurt.

However, he stood like that and looked at me with a very indifferent face.

“I’m not lying.”

He calmly uttered cruel words.

‘So, do you mean to say that everything I’d ever felt about you was all an illusion?’

‘Do you even know what you’re saying?’

…I was a fool.

I knew there was a saying that first love didn’t come true since one was clumsy in love, but I still followed down that path.

“You’re really too late.”

At that time, Felix said he wanted to quit because it was too hard, and he was overly exhausted. If he had claimed that he was sick of me then, I would have given up and let him go.

If he wanted me to believe that, he should have thoroughly trampled on my feelings and destroyed them before I awakened from my stupidity and belatedly realized the meaning behind each and every one of his actions.

There were days where I thought that one day, I would simply just forget all about it.

But I didn’t forget.

Since I had to live, I had no choice but to force myself to move forward and protect it.

But my feelings still remained in the sea. Because he chained me there and abandoned me.

The waves that rippled around my waist and shoved me around, the sand that continuously crumbled beneath my feet, and the heartless and straight back that moved away no matter how hard I tried.

In my memory, he gradually faded little by little. However, as my heart ached, my feelings became clearer.

It was actually love.

I lost my love right in front of my eyes.

“You liked me.”

“I never did.”

“You loved me.”

“I’ve forgotten those feelings.”

If you wanted to say that, you should have kept your eyes closed. A person who didn’t have any of those feelings wouldn’t look like that.

“Does that mean you did love me?”

I burst into a smile mixed with tears and released my firm hold of the railing that I had been tightly clenching.

In fact, I was afraid of heights. It wasn’t acrophobic, but I wasn’t good with amusement rides. Even when I went bungee jumping with my friends, I just watched from below by myself. But, without any safety devices, I simply jumped off.

Why could I do such a thing? It was because Felix was right down there.

I closed my eyes and felt the wind rush past my ears. As my body dropped, a dizzying sensation of cutting through the air passed through my entire body.

But the fear in that instant did not last long.

As if it was so natural, Walter embraced me from below.

I slowly lifted my closed eyelids.

Walter, who reflexively held me in his arms, tried to put me back on the ground with a look of frustration.

Before that, I grabbed the hem of his clothes tightly.

“I caught you”.

“…”

Just like that day when we were at the beach, I wrapped my arms around his neck. When he tried to take them off, I impulsively grabbed his face.

For a moment, a very faint trace of embarrassment crossed his blank face.

“If you push me away again, I’ll kiss you.”

“…”

One stupid mistake was enough. If I regretted it that much, I didn’t want to regret the same thing twice.

I stared into Walter’s eyes and slowly traced his face with my fingers. It was as if I was engraving his features, which had changed due to the time lost between us, into my heart.

I stroked his brow bone, brushed his high, sharp nose, and swept his slightly slimmer cheeks. As my hand naturally headed for his lips, Walter released me.

“Stop it now and go.”

My legs dropped to the floor, and I stumbled without being able to balance for a while. However, even before I could stand properly, I grabbed Walter’s arm. I was desperate to never lose him again.

“So now I just have to make Walter love me once more, right?”

“…”

“I can’t help but love you.”

And you already fell in love with me once.

I had never missed anyone in my life who had fallen for me. However, I’d seen quite a lot of people become restless because they missed me.

No matter who I met, I always did my best for that person.

Of course, that used to be about friendships up until now, but Felix taught me that it wasn’t much different for a relationship.

“I will do better now. I will do my best for you with all my soul. So just stay by my side.”

It was then. There was suddenly the sound of a crowd of people.

The clattering of heels, resonant noisy chatter, and bursts of laughter slowly approached us.

It was a disappointment on my side. I confessed with all my heart and soul, but this was the result.

‘He’s going to run away.’

I heard that life was all about timing, and the timing for this was absolutely horrible. Now was his only chance to flee.

I was at a loss of what to do if he did run away. When and where would we meet again, and how would I catch him?

However, after briefly placing me on the ground, Walter lifted me up again and led me behind the bushes.

‘Uh…’

Was he forced to make such a choice since it would be difficult if we were discovered chatting together?

‘That’s right. What if he was caught being with me? I almost wasted all of Felix’s efforts.’

I acted thoughtlessly without considering my surroundings. I was too drunk. I couldn’t believe I was such a dangerous person when I became drunk. I wasn’t aware of this since when I was Kim Hee Soo, no matter how much I drank, I never got drunk.

‘Still, it’s good that I drank.’

Thanks to that, I was able to stay with Felix even if I was forcefully holding onto him. Of course, I didn’t know how long this would last.

Well, he was the one who threw himself into the battlefield, so I naturally expected him to swiftly hide before he was caught.

But did he really have to hide with me? He could have just left me and hid. Perhaps he was unconsciously trying to protect me, or he wanted to be with me.

Either way, it wasn’t bad.

‘But the latter would be nice.’

I held my breath and continued to think like that.

The lights and commotion of the glamorous banquet hall faded away for a moment, and the sounds of insects grew louder.

He hid behind the greenery and covered my mouth with his big hands. His hand, which must have been washed, somehow smelled of blood.

“I got goosebumps.”

“That man isn’t human. Of course, he’s a human being, but there’s no ounce of humanity at all.”

“I know what you mean. The atmosphere he gave off was so… He felt unapproachable.”

“Is it okay to release such a murderer in the palace? Who can guarantee that he won’t abruptly lose his mind and go on a rampage? He’s already killed so many people, so he probably doesn’t view it as a human’s life.”

“I don’t know what His Majesty is thinking to let him enter the palace. He even gave a mercenary a title and entrusted him to a position as if there’s no talent in this country.”

As the loud noise grew closer and closer, a group of young ladies gossiping about Walter passed by our hiding place.

Earlier in the banquet hall, they couldn’t even make a sound, let alone talk. But, as soon as Walter was away for a while, they started chattering away about whether he was a killer or not.

Actually, it wasn’t just those young ladies. Other nobles said the same thing.

At that moment, I was reminded of the people who had mourned and revered Felix at his funeral.

Even though they were the same person, their evaluation was as different as heaven and earth. I wondered if the poles of a magnet referred to something like this.

My heart ached as I remembered the things he had lost and sacrificed all this time.

When the young ladies completely disappeared, and there was nothing around except the chirpings of the bugs, the hands that covered my mouth slowly fell off.

I blinked my half-opened eyes over and over again. And I gazed up at him, who had turned his head to the left to check for any other movement.

Noticing his jawline that was tense from clenching his teeth, I suddenly leaned forward and kissed him.

As soon as that happened, he shot me a terrifying gaze that pierced like an arrow.

“Heh.”

Since he couldn’t slap away a smiling face, I responded with a bright grin.

“You know, Fel. People are afraid of evaluating the results, not the results.”

I was like that, too.

And it might still be the case now.

“But Fel is a very nice and lovely person who has silently protected us so far while only looking at the results and not the evaluation.”

“…”

“I want to whisper to you every day about how lovely you are.”

“So we’ll stay by your side and keep telling you. How pretty and adorable Irene is.”

Just like what you did to me.

After saying that, I stretched out my arms and gently wrapped my hands around his face that was barely looking at me.

“So what’s your answer?”

“…”

He hadn’t spoken since earlier.

“It seems like Fel has become so tight-lipped that only extreme factors can make you open your mouth.”

Of course, whenever he opened his mouth, he would only spit out painful words.

I grabbed the back of his head and slowly pulled him towards me.

A burning desire swept over me. I quietly looked up at his lips and tried to ease the kindled fire in my heart.

“If you don’t answer quickly, I’ll kiss you.”

“…”

“Then I’ll count down from ten.”

He could effortlessly shake me off as it was, but he just frowned and followed along.

I put my cheek against his and shed a supremely blissful laugh.

It was a ship that had been on fire for a long time.

“10, 9, 8…”

I couldn’t even count half yet, but in an instant, his cheek fell away.

And at the same time, his rough lips, which I had touched before, completely covered mine.

* * *