A Billion Stars Can't Amount to You

He recognized it as the box of pills she pulled out outside his apartment building.

There were many words on the box and they weren’t emergency contraceptive pills as he thought.

Han Zhifan wasn’t familiar with medicine, so he wasn’t particularly sure of the name of the medication and what it was used to treat.

He just thought she had been unwell lately. He casually picked up the box of pills and read the basic information on the back.

When he read the line describing the purpose of the medication, he found the key usage: Clinical Depression.

This... is medicine to treat clinical depression?

Han Zhifan’s mind instantly turned blank. Without knowing it, he stared at the words on the box for a long while before he slowly raised his head and looked over at Cheng Weiwan as she slept in the bed.

She... has been taking medicine for clinical depression all this time?

For how long? Is it minor or major depression?

Han Zhifan squeezed the box with his fingers as thoughts flashed across his mind. He couldn’t help but slowly strengthen his grip.

It was no wonder that when he saw her lately, she had blank stares every now and then. It was like her soul had left her body and for a long time, she wouldn’t come back to her senses.

He thought she just had things on her mind. Now, it seemed like he was wrong to think she was daydreaming...

He remembered that in the past, she was very quiet but she was the peaceful type of quiet. Now, she seemed quiet but rather lifeless.

He thought it was because her personality changed after giving birth. He never imagined that it was actually clinical depression...

A faint voice was suddenly heard in the silent room. “Hanhan... Hanhan...”

Han Zhifan snapped back to reality. His gaze was transfixed on the tears pouring out from the corners of Cheng Weiwan’s eyes.

“Hanhan... Hanhan...” she repeatedly muttered those two words.

More and more tears fell until she started to sob very quietly while still unconscious.

She cried for a while before she suddenly started to murmur, “Hanhan, you can’t leave mummy... Hanhan...”

“...Hanhan, you can’t leave mummy. They all left mummy... you can’t leave mummy again... Hanhan... Mummy only has you...”

As she said this, she must’ve really wanted to cry out loud from the immense pain, but even in her dreams, she wasn’t able to cry freely.

Han Zhifan stared at the stifled and struggling Cheng Weiwan with something stuck in his throat. It bobbed up and down, making him choke painfully.

He didn’t know just how much time had passed before he came back to his senses. By now, she had quieted down. Her eyelashes were wet and there were still teardrops in the corners of her eyes.

Her IV bag was empty.

Han Zhifan gulped then put the box back into Cheng Weiwan’s bag. He straightened up and pressed the call button above the bedside table.

The nurse quickly rushed in and helped take the needle out of Cheng Weiwan.

After the nurse left, Han Zhifan stood by the bed for a short while. Then he turned around, walked out of the room, and left the hospital.

It was already late at night. Han Zhifan stood on the sidewalk, lit a cigarette, and called the same friends he woke up earlier. After he hung up, he lit another cigarette and put it out after smoking just half. He got in the car and headed back home.

Han Zhifan woke up early the next morning.

The housekeeper had breakfast ready. When she saw him coming downstairs, she immediately pulled out a chair for him at the dining table.

After he sat down, Han Zhifan reached out to take the bowl of congee from the housekeeper. He took just two gulps when he had a sudden thought and stopped.